I had to warn you all: there’s a conspiracy afoot, and Vann’s is behind it. I walked into their store the other day, completely content with, even pleased with, my roommate’s 32” flat screen LCD television… but then I saw it, right as I walked in the front doors: the Samsung 63” 1080p plasma 3D HDTV, and it was playing AVATAR. I was hypnotized. I was demobilized. I watched the whole movie standing right there. Twice. Everything looked ridiculous; colors looked so good I thought I was on something and the frame rate made everything so smooth I once again contemplated whether or not I might be on something. I’m pretty sure I was a Na’vi for a little bit, and it wasn’t even playing in 3D! This TV is all brushed steel and only an inch and a half thick, which is completely pointless (it’s not getting that much closer to the wall), but man is this television sexy. Yes, sexy.
At seven, Vann’s closed and I was graciously escorted outside by the staff and forced to return home. I hadn’t fully realized their evil plot until I walked into my house where my roommate was watching football. It was ruined. I was ruined. I would rather watch my uncle doing jumping jacks or help my grandma wax her upper lip than watch that television. I would rather shave an angry badger or wrestle the hulk than watch my roommate’s stupid television again, or any other TV that isn’t the Samsung. Since then I have been wandering the earth, unable to extract a single ounce of joy from the moving pictures of television (that is until I return to Vann’s to stand in front of my captor once again).
It’s getting bad people; I went there the other day, and they were playing Prince of Persia with Jake Gyllenhaal. I watched it. I WATCHED IT PEOPLE!!! Do you realize the implications? Don’t let this happen to you, dear internet, don’t suffer my fate. You have to stay out of Vann’s and you have to never EVER see the Samsung 63” 1080p plasma 3D HDTV in real life.
You’ve been warned.
- plasma panel
- Full 3D-HD 1920 x 1080p resolution
- Aspect ratio: Widescreen 16:9
- Progressive features: Crystal Full HD engine with Cinema Smooth™ 24p / 600Hz sub-field motion technology / E³-panel technology
- Best video inputs: 4 HDMI / 2 USB
- Other inputs: LAN / ANT / Composite / Component / PC / PC-DVI audio / EX-Link
Other outputs: Audio / Optical Digital Audio
- Audio enhancements: SRS TruSurround HD
- Built-in speakers: 15W x 2 channels
- Mounting options: Table stand included / Wall mount compatible
- 3D-HD ready / 2D-to-3D upconversion
- Clear Image Panel and FilterBright® Antiglare
- Mega Dynamic Contrast ratio
- 0.001ms response time
- BD Wise™ automatic component picture and sound adjustment
- Tuners: Built in HD / ATSC / NTSC / QAM
- Media@2.0™: Internet@TV / DLNA / Content Library™ / ConnectShare™ Movie
- ENERGY STAR 4.0 / Eco sensor