This time of year, there’s one event that challenges and describes Americans better than any other. There are long hours of preparation, poring over arcane writings; there is blood and sweat; there is extreme joy, and also extreme pain and suffering. It’s this time of year that truly tests your physical and emotional endurance.
I’m speaking, of course, about Black Friday.
This is the one time of year that seemingly normal human beings will endure standing outside a store at 3 a.m. on a winter’s morning (after appearing outside at some point the night before) in order to get the chance at seemingly impossible deals in preparation for the most wonderful time of the year. It is the truest test of a shopper’s prowess.
But, like any test, preparation is the key to success. Take a moment to peruse these five steps, from my veteran perspective, that will help make sure your Black Friday does not turn into a Bleak Friday.
Dress in layers
Because you’ll be out an hour that no sane individual would ever consider on what could be the coldest day you’ve seen in the last five months, make sure to layer yourself with warm clothing, including your head. Not only will this prevent you from suffering from hypothermia (an instant shopping ender), it also doubles as shock absorption for the full-contact melee sure to ensue at the opening of the doors.
Make sure to stretch before leaving for your shopping outing. Not only will this help to improve circulation, thereby increasing blood flow for warmth and alertness (important when hunting for savings), it will also make sure that you’re ready to get those few crucial inches when reaching towards the tops and bottoms of store shelves without having to worry about cramping up.
Read up on deals
No true Black Friday aficionado should be caught without knowledge of every incredible deal available. Not only will this help you make sure you get the right gifts for your friends and family, it will also help to make sure that you’ve properly prepared your list of now-reasonable gift demands from others.
Walk the route
Since you’ll be there at 3 a.m. anyway, take that wasted time others call sleep to drive your route between stores. Make sure to get an edge by noting any hidden shortcuts like side streets, restaurant parking lots, and sidewalks.
Invest in tech
Not only should you have your more complicated devices like your smart phone, GPS, and MP3 player at ready, investing in devices like dino grabbers (I recommend the raptor types for the intimidation factor), football pads, and tear gas can make sure that you get to deals first.
With these helpful preparations done, you’re now equipped for this upcoming Black Friday. Or you can just stop in at Vann’s when we open at the surprisingly reasonable hour of 9 a.m., and get your deals in a well-rested state devoid of riot gear.
That way you can spend your energy getting ready for Cyber Monday.